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The demands of fertility treatment can also bring about struggles with sex. You may find that sex becomes mechanical, or that there are problems with performance that were never there before. But you can learn how to cope with infertility and have a satisfying sex life.

Sex has several aspects to it:

• Pro-creational / biological
• Recreational
• Emotional

When the role of sex in a couple’s relationship changes from recreational to pro-creational, it can be quite a shock to learn that there are hidden or upsetting emotional issues. Sometimes these issues cause symptoms like low sexual desire, delayed ejaculation, and erectile dysfunction. Such issues include:

• Ambivalence about becoming pregnant now
• Sadness, anger or shame about one or both partners being infertile
• Embarrassment about the need for technology to do what “should” be natural
• Distaste at calling attention to biological processes before, after, and during sex
• Wishing sex could be spontaneous again
• Disappointment at one’s partner’s reactions to creating a pregnancy
• Uncertainty about the future, e.g., how the relationship and life in general may change with pregnancy and parenthood

These issues can often be explored openly in a safe environment, and sex therapy can overcome sexual difficulties. The Institute provides a nonjudgmental place to talk about these and other issues related to infertility and sexuality. Please call her at 800-769-0342 to schedule an appointment.

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