People who go to bed feeling lonely have elevated levels of cortisol upon awakening. Cortisol is the so-called “stress hormone” that can cause depression, obesity, and other health problems such as insulin resistance. But cortisol can also do something else–give you a boost of energy to go back out in the world and have positive social interactions, e.g. find a partner, according to an interpertation of findings that appeared in the Proceedings of the National Academices of Sciences. To me, they speak to the urge to merge–to mate, to bond, to attach to someone.

What was also interesting is that people in the study–essentially baby boomers–who experienced a lot of anger during the day had elevated cortisol levels at night, and flat levels of cortisol in the morning. The researchers emphasized that this is when the hormone cortisol could do the damage detailed above. Also, angry people would not get that energy boost in the morning to help them go into their day with positive purpose. Their irritability would also affect their ability to socialize appropriately with others.

Takeaway Message: If you go to bed lonely, don’t fret. Use whatever energy you have in the morning to go forward in a positive way. If you are angry and irritable throughout the day, do something to de-stress and bring down your evening cortisol levels, e.g. yoga or deep breathing. Not only might you get a better boost of morning energy, but others (like your partner) might find you easier to be around.

Which reminds me…my first project for the new year is to produce a CD on relaxing for better sex. It will have some educational information, exercises, music, and motivation to de-stress for better love-making. Look for it on my website in mid-January.

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