- 05
- Feb
Sometimes it isn’t that difficult. Low sexual desire is a frequent complaint among women, especially in long-term relationships. Even though they may love their partners and want to be with them, they simply find they are not in the mood for sex. Here are five ways to increase sexual desire:
1. Foreplay begins in the morning. If you want good sex that night, be good to your gal all day long. You don’t have to be a sap about it, but smile at her jokes, offer a little extra help, run that errand without a growl, and get cleaned up for those dinner reservations (see number 4, above). A little surprise gift—even a pack of her favorite mints or a CD you pick up at the coffee shop—will set the stage for love.
2. Find out what turns her on. Let her know that you aren’t sure what she likes and that you need some direction. Give her a sheet of paper and a funny pen and tell her to write it down for you. At this time, keep the focus on her; you can share what you’d like in return at a later time. Then do what she asks next time you make love and see doesn’t have more interest.
3. Keep your partner perky. If your girlfriend or wife says that she’s tired from all the chores or work she must do every day, believe her. Look around to see if there are some real ways to help your partner out, or ask her what she needs. Be sure to follow through and to do the tasks without expecting a gold medal. While you work, tell your partner to put her feet up or take a nap. Watch her mood change and her desire improve.
4. Use good hygiene. Truly, more women complain to me about their partners’ breath and so forth as being a turnoff, more than anything else. A word to the wise: brush your teeth, take a shower, shampoo your hair, and come to bed mint-y fresh.
5. Keep her satisfied. Women who have difficulty achieving orgasm sometimes lose interest in sex. Make it safe so that both of you can explore her body together to find out what gets her aroused. Some women need a lot of stimulation, so bringing toys to bed can be a good idea. Don’t put any pressure, just make it a fun, relaxed time for the two of you to enjoy. Eventually, she may find it easier to have orgasm and look forward to making love.
Take a tip from this sex therapist—getting your partner interested in sex is easy when you know the right moves. Not those moves! These moves!
