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- May
Is therapy worth the cost? Twenty sessions of therapy will cost $3 to $4K; divorce, $10K, $20K, or more. The difference is that divorce will solve your problem–if what you want is to end your marriage. If not, then therapy is worth trying. Make a commitment to be in weekly therapy for 3-6 months and monitor progress. If no progress is made or your relationship is deteriorating, then you may still choose to end your marriage.
While many people think that marital therapy has a poor outcome, the truth is that most couples wait too long to get help. When a problem, such as low desire, is not taken care of early on, hard feelings, guilt, and resentment build up. On average, couples wait seven years to get help–and seeking therapy may really be a case of “too little, too late.”
If you are trying to decide if therapy will help, there is only one way to find out. It isn’t necessarily by talking to the therapist–of course the therapist wants you to come in, that is how a therapist earns his or her living! No, the way to find out is to try it. Make a decision, set an appointment. Give the new therapy relationship a chance; come 3-4 weeks before you decide whether or not you like the therapist and can work with him or her.
It’s okay to let the therapist know that it is not a good fit, and it’s also okay to ask for referrals. Most likely, you will feel comfortable with most therapists, as we are trained to make people feel at home quickly. How do you know if you do have a good fit? When you leave the office, you may not always feel great, because therapy can be hard work. But therapy should give you hope and light the path of change. Overall, most people feel that the investment in therapy is worthwhile, and is worth trying in the face of the financial and emotional expense of marital separation.
