- 09
- Aug
Well, here we go again. Yet another public figure admits having sex outside of marriage. I guess at a certain point we’re all just going to throw our hands up in the air and collectively give up on monogamy as a “lifestyle choice.”
The part of the affair between John Edwards and his former videographer that sickens me is that he and his wife put up this astounding front that he was all about being the supportive husband, right there on “60 Minutes.” They had me teary-eyed as together they declared that he was going to run for office despite her cancer diagnosis Edwards swore up and down that he wasn’t using his wife’s health as a way to gain attention and sympathy for the campaign. Makes me wonder, though.
As a psychologist, I’ve worked with many clients with diagnosis, including women who survived breast and other cancers. And in the privacy of my office, it is not unusual for a woman to confess that her cancer diagnosis made her think long and hard about whether or not she wanted to stay in her marriage.
Cancer can be a turning point, and a test of the strength of a relationship. As I heard about Edwards’ confession of the affair, I couldn’t help but wonder if Mrs. Edwards had the same thoughts–but chose instead to “stand by her man.”
It’s all very confusing. Edwards acted like yet another foolish politician, unable to keep his pants zipped because the attention he garnered made him narcissistic and grandiose. A certain personality type is drawn to run for office. Or, is it that we choose to be lead by someone with that personality: attractive, charming, and capable of lying.
Many people have been disappointed and hurt by the fact of a father who has cheated on mom. Often all is forgiven and made nice. So it goes with our politicians.
Maybe it is time to hold men (and women, of course, but I am talking about male politicians here) more accountable for the emotional destruction they cause by their behavior. If you are unhappy in your marriage, deal with it like an adult and tell your partner. Better a divorced politician than a hypocritical politician, I think. If you need sexual variety, for goodness sakes, there are other ways of getting it than going outside of your marriage. If you want to have multiple partners, explore polyamory (the practice of loving more than one partner at a time–much too complicated for me, I always say, as it’s complicated enough just keeping one relationship working).
But don’t sneak around. And if you’re a politician, please don’t play us, the public, as well.
