In about 15 minutes I’m leaving my office to give a talk to urologists about what sex therapists can do for men with erectile dysfunction and other common–and not so common–problems, so I thought I’d jot a few thoughts about when to visit a urologist, and when to visit a sex therapist.

If you are under 35 and are in good health, have morning erections, or can get erect when you’re by your lonesome, then you probably want to visit a sex therapist.  If you are under 30 and have health problems or don’t have erections much, spontaneously or not, then see a urologist first.

If you are over 35, then your best first stop is an urologist, who can determine if you have “plumbing problems” or hormonal issues such as low testosterone.  You don’t want to skip this step, because erectile dysfunction (ED) can be caused by various illnesses, including multiple sclerosis, diabetes, pituitary disorders, etc.

Sex therapists are trained to rule out medical problems first.  There’s no point in engaging in “talk therapy” if the problem is your health.  On the other hand, if you have a health problem such as diabetes or need to take medication that affects your ability to have erections, then you probably have a psychological problem, too.  After all, who wouldn’t be a little depressed or even paralyzed at the thought of a change in your sexual health?

Once you have ruled out medical problems, or you are in great health, then you can contact a sex therapist.  If you don’t live in the SoCal area, you can look on the AASECT website to find a sex therapist near you.  A sex therapist can help you overcome obstacles that prevent you from enjoying sex, and also counsel you and your partner about how to incorporate medical interventions into your sexual script, as in the case of someone who is recovering from prostate surgery and needs medication, shots, or other form of treatment.

Hope that’s helpful!

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