Forgiveness is an act that is sometimes misunderstood.  In a marriage or long-term relationship, though, forgiveness is often required if it is to function.  The first act of forgiveness comes when you realize that your partner isn’t perfect.  It is inevitable that your partner is going to anger, disappoint, or test you.  At that moment, you have a few choices:  Keep punishing your partner with resentment, verbal or nonverbal; let go of a grudge, accept your partner as human and move on; or move on altogether, with or without forgiveness.

Sometimes couples disappoint each other in the bedroom and have trouble with forgiveness.  A man’s female partner can’t have an orgasm and he berates her for being unresponsive.  A woman’s male partner ejaculates too quickly and she becomes caustic and critical.  The couple may just have different expectations about their sex life, but be unable to discuss it; they may quietly suffer for years.  The angry partner may also become critical, sometimes, in other parts of the couple’s relationship; at other times, the couple may put a lot of energy into putting up a front to the world that their relationship is really much better than it is.

Can you forgive your partner for their sexual shortcomings, be a good friend, and support them toward change?  Can you let go of your resentment and become compassionate, realize that your partner may be hurting, too?  Sexual forgiveness takes maturity, too.  Your partner perhaps didn’t learn how to be a long-term sexual mate.  You can learn together.  If mistakes or missteps have been made, be patient and above all be forgiving.

» You can leave a comment, or trackback from your own site.