Colleague Cory Silverberg has a list of terrific ideas on his About:Sexuality blog for DIY Valentine’s Day gifts, such as writing the story of how you met, or incorporating something sexy into a craft.  (Did you know, for example, that there are books on how to knit lingerie, or a blog called Sexy Knitters Club?)

In my newsletter this month (you are signed up, aren’t you?) I included a Valentine’s Day sex life check-up that included items like the following that you can discuss together:

1. What was the best part of our relationship last year?
2. How did you feel supported by me?
3. Did I do anything particularly loving over the past year that you’d like me to repeat this year?
4. What was the least helpful thing that I did?  What would you like me to do instead?
5. What does our relationship mean to you at this point in time?  (Companionship, co-parenting, a sexual partner, a major support in times of stress, etc.)
6. What are your thoughts about our sex life?  Is it fine as is, or could it be improved?
7. What do you see as challenges for our relationship over the coming year?
8. What would you like us to do differently this year?
9. What would you like to keep the same?
10. What can I do to make you feel loved and cherished?

After all, people check-up on their physical health, their financial health, even the health of their garden.  Why not do a check-up on your sex life?  Part of the joy of being in a long-term relationship or marriage is that you have a safe place and a safe partner with whom to explore your sexuality.  You change, your partner changes; why not take a moment to learn a bit more about yourself and each other?

May you have a sweet Valentine’s Day celebration!

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