What does the adult industry and teacher unions have to do with each other? Well, according to one lobbyist, nothing. In a recent article from the Orange County Register strip clubs and novelty sex stores could face a 25% increase in tax to help school districts affected by strong budget cuts. This tax would fund education and its social services. The president of one teachers association feels that if a person could afford to buy luxuries due to their income, then they should pay tax on it. This bill, prompted by Assemblyman Charles Calderon, states the negatives of adult venues that some say are based on opinions rather than facts.

As a former teacher, I don’t really find this amusing. Most parents and children would not appreciate funding from a strip club tax. Most strip clubs would feel that they were being unfairly penalized. I don’t know that I would call novelty sex toys “luxury items”; the only thing that makes them so is that you can’t just find them in the drugstore—though you can find stuff for just about any other system of the body!

I don’t think picking on an industry is the way to go. Why not tax Mercedes or lobster or tickets to the OC Performing Arts Center? Why discriminate in this way?

According to Pharma Plus Store, half of the men diagnosed with diabetes will experience erectile dysfunction as a side effect, but some that are diagnosed with diabetes may not know this due either to misinformation or from being bombarded with too much information all at once. This link between the two can have profound impact, especially if the person is in a relationship. Luckily, there are options.

The article states that some men are just embarrassed to raise questions about this topic. Keep in mind that it is important to speak up, especially if it is something that is having profound impact on your daily life. And I’m sure your doctor has heard all the questions in the book. Read the article to find out one mans first-hand experience with this.

A good percentage of men who come into my office take Viagra, Cialis, or Levitra because they struggle with erectile dysfunction. Generally, single men tend to be secretive about using medication.

Married men, however, generally can’t or don’t keep use of these medicines–PDE5 inhibitors–away from their wives’ knowledge. Some women are fine with their partner taking a pill. It makes their husbands happy, so they are happy, too. Usually these are older couples who have been married awhile. The wife doesn’t take her husband’s ED personally. She simply realizes that her husband has aged and isn’t as easily aroused as he once was.

Other women don’t like their husbands using the medication. Sometimes it is because they feel if their husband needs to take a pill to stay erect, then they must not be very exciting or sexy. Another complaint is that if their husband uses Viagra, then they need to plan to have sex. The one hour wait time gets to be a drag, and sex begins to feel like an obligation.

Whether a man chooses medication or not, it is a good idea to include his partner in any consultation with the physician regarding its use. Coming in to see a sex therapist can also be useful, as he or she can help a couple incorporate the medication into their sexual script. Also, the use of medication may bring up sexual issues in the partner that the couple has been able to deny, such as low sexual desire. Finally, many people are unaware that if there are sexual problems such as anxiety, the medication will not work.

Sometimes it isn’t that difficult. Low sexual desire is a frequent complaint among women, especially in long-term relationships. Even though they may love their partners and want to be with them, they simply find they are not in the mood for sex. Here are five ways to increase sexual desire:

1. Foreplay begins in the morning. If you want good sex that night, be good to your gal all day long. You don’t have to be a sap about it, but smile at her jokes, offer a little extra help, run that errand without a growl, and get cleaned up for those dinner reservations (see number 4, above). A little surprise gift—even a pack of her favorite mints or a CD you pick up at the coffee shop—will set the stage for love.

2. Find out what turns her on. Let her know that you aren’t sure what she likes and that you need some direction. Give her a sheet of paper and a funny pen and tell her to write it down for you. At this time, keep the focus on her; you can share what you’d like in return at a later time. Then do what she asks next time you make love and see doesn’t have more interest.

3. Keep your partner perky. If your girlfriend or wife says that she’s tired from all the chores or work she must do every day, believe her. Look around to see if there are some real ways to help your partner out, or ask her what she needs. Be sure to follow through and to do the tasks without expecting a gold medal. While you work, tell your partner to put her feet up or take a nap. Watch her mood change and her desire improve.

4. Use good hygiene. Truly, more women complain to me about their partners’ breath and so forth as being a turnoff, more than anything else. A word to the wise: brush your teeth, take a shower, shampoo your hair, and come to bed mint-y fresh.

5. Keep her satisfied. Women who have difficulty achieving orgasm sometimes lose interest in sex. Make it safe so that both of you can explore her body together to find out what gets her aroused. Some women need a lot of stimulation, so bringing toys to bed can be a good idea. Don’t put any pressure, just make it a fun, relaxed time for the two of you to enjoy. Eventually, she may find it easier to have orgasm and look forward to making love.

Take a tip from this sex therapist—getting your partner interested in sex is easy when you know the right moves. Not those moves! These moves!

People who go to bed feeling lonely have elevated levels of cortisol upon awakening. Cortisol is the so-called “stress hormone” that can cause depression, obesity, and other health problems such as insulin resistance. But cortisol can also do something else–give you a boost of energy to go back out in the world and have positive social interactions, e.g. find a partner, according to an interpertation of findings that appeared in the Proceedings of the National Academices of Sciences. To me, they speak to the urge to merge–to mate, to bond, to attach to someone.

What was also interesting is that people in the study–essentially baby boomers–who experienced a lot of anger during the day had elevated cortisol levels at night, and flat levels of cortisol in the morning. The researchers emphasized that this is when the hormone cortisol could do the damage detailed above. Also, angry people would not get that energy boost in the morning to help them go into their day with positive purpose. Their irritability would also affect their ability to socialize appropriately with others.

Takeaway Message: If you go to bed lonely, don’t fret. Use whatever energy you have in the morning to go forward in a positive way. If you are angry and irritable throughout the day, do something to de-stress and bring down your evening cortisol levels, e.g. yoga or deep breathing. Not only might you get a better boost of morning energy, but others (like your partner) might find you easier to be around.

Which reminds me…my first project for the new year is to produce a CD on relaxing for better sex. It will have some educational information, exercises, music, and motivation to de-stress for better love-making. Look for it on my website in mid-January.

The Journal of Clinical Endocrinology and Metabolism released a study that suggests that men who are overweight, even by 30 pounds, have lower testosterone than do men of normal weight. This has many health implications including decreased muscle mass and bone density, as well as lower energy and sex drive. Symptoms of low testosterone in men also include irritability, lethargy, lack of sexual fantasy, and difficulty attaining erection.

Many men who come into my office are resistant to the idea that they may have low testosterone, and they will not see an endocrinologist even when referred. This is a mistake, because there are just some things that talk therapy cannot overcome! Read more about the symptoms, effects, and treatment of low testosterone.

Of course, the converse is true: Testosterone replacement will only be so helpful if there are also psychological issues. So don’t run away to the phone just yet to get a referral to an endocrinologist. An evaluation with a qualified sex therapist is also a good idea when it comes to understanding your sexual health and well-being.