Frequently Asked
Questions
What is sex therapy?
Sex therapy is a
specialized form of
psychotherapy that helps a
person or couple to solve a
sexual problem. We do a lot
of talking and exploring
together to try to figure
out just what the problem
is, and your therapist does
a bit of thinking to help
you solve it. We look at all
aspects of your
relationship, to see if
problems in one area are
causing problems in another
area. If it feels
appropriate, we might give
you some reading or other
things to do between
sessions. Most importantly,
you and the therapist work
as a team to try to bring
about some change so that
you and your partner are
happier about your
relationship both in and out
of the bedroom.
What specific problems do
you treat?
There are many kinds of
sexual concerns that people
bring into our office. Some
of the specific problems
that we see include:
If you don't see your exact
problem listed here, don't
feel embarrassed. Call us
anyway and we'll let you
know how we might help.
What are Dr. Buehler’s
qualifications?
Dr. Buehler is a highly
qualified mental health
professional. She is a
licensed psychologist and
certified as a sex therapist
by a national organization,
AASECT. Please read the
“Meet Our Staff
” page to
learn more about Dr.
Buehler.
What is a sex therapist?
A sex therapist is
someone who treats people
with sexual concerns. Please
be aware that the word
“therapist” is not a legally
protected term; anyone can
call him- or herself a
“therapist.” You want to
make sure that you see a
licensed mental health
professional for your sexual
concerns. These include
psychiatrists,
psychologists, marriage and
family therapists, and
licensed clinical social
workers. It also includes
psychological assistants and
registered psychologists who
may be working toward hours
required for licensure.
Should I see a male or
female therapist?
For most types of problems,
it really doesn't matter
whether you see a male or
female therapist. Michael
Smith, MFT has helped many
women, and Dr. Stephanie
Buehler has helped many men.
The sex of the therapist you
choose is just a personal
choice; some women and men
are more comfortable talking
to a woman; some are more
comfortable with men; and
some have no preference at
all.
What type of therapy do you
do?
All of our therapists work
in a slightly different
manner, but have one thing
in common: Whenever
possible, we use
evidence-based
interventions. What does
that mean? We try to stick
with those things that have
been proven by research to
be effective. Please feel
free to discuss your
therapist's approach and let
your therapist know what you
are looking for if you have
something specific in mind.
Do you use surrogates?
No. No touching or
nudity is ever appropriate
in a psychotherapy session.
Please see the booklet
Psychotherapy Never Includes
Sex (PDF).
How long does therapy take?
Most people find that
they can resolve their
concerns within 12-16
sessions. However, some
people need more time in
therapy. This depends on
several things, including
the complexity of the
problem, how long the
problem has occurred, and
even how much time you can
devote to working on the
problem between sessions.
At the Institute, we do
discuss your goals with you.
We check in periodically to
make sure that therapy is on
track. If you are not making
progress or think it is too
slow, you can bring that up.
In fact, it is your therapy,
so you should always feel
free to discuss any part of
it.
It is important to be
realistic about what can be
accomplished in therapy. We
aren’t going to change your
partner into the fantasy
mate of your dreams.
(Sorry!) We aren’t going to
make all your pain go away
forever. (Really, we wish we
could.) What we can do is
help you to function better
and have a healthier
relationship.
How often do we meet?
In general, therapy
sessions are weekly,
especially at the beginning
when you are working with
the therapist to establish a
relationship and to practice
new skills and ways of
thinking. We realize that
therapy does require a
person’s or couples’ time
and financial resources, and
for that reason we suggest
that you think about your
ability to make a commitment
to change before you begin.
Sometimes people wish to
meet less frequently due to
their schedules. It is often
up to the therapist to
decide if a problem can be
realistically addressed on a
biweekly or less frequent
format. Clients who come in
with longstanding concerns
will most likely need to
meet weekly. Because Dr.
Buehler sees the most
complex cases, she generally
sees only those clients who
can meet weekly. Other
therapists may be able to
accommodate different
scheduling frequencies if
appropriate.
Is therapy confidential?
Psychotherapy is
completely confidential,
with some legal exceptions.
Psychotherapists do consult
with one another on cases in
order to provide the best
treatment, but never give
any specific information
away. Also, you may wish to
have your psychotherapist
collaborate with a medical
provider; if so, a specific
release of information must
be signed that allows this
communication. If you have
concerns about
confidentiality, we invite
you to discuss them.
Do you prescribe medication?
No. Only a medical
doctor can prescribe
medication. We highly
recommend that patients who
want or need psychotropic
medication work with a
psychiatrist, and we are
able to provide referrals.
We are also legally able to
counsel people regarding
medications within a scope
of practice regulated by the
State.
How long is a session?
Sessions are 50 minutes
in length. The so-called
“therapeutic hour” allows
your therapist to write
notes about your session,
prepare for the next
patient, and return phone
calls. We appreciate your
cooperation in ending
sessions on time.
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