Figuring out how to have an orgasm isn’t difficult, but women who haven’t done so on their own often benefit from a bit of coaching. Steps to learning about orgasm include:

	Understanding your anatomy—not just your genitals but your nervous system
	Removing shame from your thoughts about sexual experiences and pleasure
	Producing relaxation so that you can let go
	Enjoying all kinds of physical sensations
	Providing information about different types of aids and lubricants
	Using your Kegel muscles to help you on your way to orgasm
	Developing erotic fantasies
	Most importantly, using your mind to help you release tension and melt into bliss

How long does all this take? For some women, learning how to have an orgasm takes just a few sessions. Usually they already enjoy sex, but just need a few tips to get them over the crest. A few sessions and voila! Orgasm.

Others need more patient guidance. We have found that women who cannot experience orgasm sometimes need more intensive therapy for problems that include:

	intense shame about one’s body
	intense shame about masturbation
	difficulty trusting or being intimate with one’s partner
	hidden negative feelings toward one’s partner
	history of negative sexual experiences
	personality styles such as preoccupation with orderliness
	excessive worrying with muscular tension or persistent sad mood

When there are roadblocks like these, a few months of psychotherapy, combined with gentle education, can help a woman learn more about herself, heal her sexuality, and experience the pleasure she seeks.

At the Buehler Institute, we enjoy helping women learn about their bodies and teaching them to let go and enjoy! To schedule your appointment, please call the Institute at 800-769-0342 and ask to speak to Dr. Buehler directly. She’ll answer any preliminary questions, discuss fees, and help you decide which of our therapists is right for you.

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